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Monday, November 1st, 2004

Time:11:09 pm.
you thought that chastity bear had forgotten about this journal, didn't you?

well it hasn't. chastity bear has simply been too busy campaigning in the past few months. while chastity bear can't stay to chat for long, it does have one quick thing to say:

practice abstinence in 2004 -- no bush, no dick.
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Saturday, April 24th, 2004

Time:8:28 pm.
i would just like to say how much i love buns. i mean, i really really love buns.
chastity bear is a true bun-lover.
if chastity bear had a gender, it assumes that it would be wearing a lot of buns. not that buns have much to do with gender, but, you know.

if chastity bear was an amish woman, chastity bear would be sporting a whole fuck load of buns.
if chastity bear was not an amish woman, chastity bear would still be sporting a whole fuck load of buns anyway. there is no excuse not to wear a bun.

if chastity bear was a gay man, chastity bear would still be sporting a whole fuck load of buns.

hell, if chastity bear was ANYTHING, chastity bear would be sporting a whole FUCK LOAD of buns.

okay, so anyway.

you know what sucks?
the dentist. the dentist is a terrible terrible man. novicane is an element of pure evil.
chastity bear hates the dentist and novicane.
chastity bear loves complaining though. so maybe the denstist and novicane are not such bad things afterall.

if chastity bear had a gender, you know what chastity bear would do?
chastity bear would go and find rebecca romaijn-ex-stamos. oh yes chastity bear would.
and then you know what chastity bear would do?
chastity bear would find john stamos.
and chastity bear would do the both of them. a lot. many times.

but chastity bear is chaste, so that probably won't be happening any time soon.

last night chastity bear was crucified.
chastity bear really wasn't upset for any reason, but chastity bear felt it nessesary to crucify chastity bear.
mostly for the sake of buns.

chastity bear likes mini burgers.

chastity bear like disney movies.

chastity bear likes rebecca romaijn-ex-stamos.

chastity bear loves dale.
chastity bear really loves dale.
imagine dale in a bun.
wow...that's really really hot.
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Friday, April 9th, 2004

Time:12:05 am.

tonight chastiy bear has made a voyage. a voyage for truth. a voyage for justice. a voyage for hotdogs.

yes...tonight chastity bear had unpure thoughts about coney island hotdogs. for shame. chastity bear ALMOST (almost) had an orgasm. but not quite. if there had been ketchup...then wow.
chastity bear may have worn out his...her...its title. (chastity bear HAS no sex, because chastity bear will be having no sex. just a 411 for furture reference.)

chastity bear thought that the ladies working in coney island were hot bitches.
they were, by damn, they were.

chastity bear likes to talk about itself in third-person. so shut up.

chastity bear then felt itself up and picked lint off of katie, and then felt itself up some more. it liked it.

then chastity bear have itself a mamogram. it has no tumors. chastity bear is cancer-free.
cancer is not sexy.
albinos are.

chastity bear likes short shorts and metrosexuals. chastity bear likes short shorts on metrosexuals.

chastity bear got drunk on absolut vodka and wound up in an alley. chastity bear doesn't like hookers with short shorts and fake teeth.

chastity bear then ate some skittles and then ate katie's dinner, and then ate leah's dinner, and then ate amy.
but we fished her out.
chastity bear was sorry. but chastity bear was bitch-slaped anyway.

chastity bear realised that it has a heart on its ass. it's hard and made of plastic. chastity bear likes to feel it up, and then feel his pseudo-boobies.
chastity bear's pseudo-boobies have appeared in many home-made porns.
chastity bear like p33n. sometimes.
chastity bear like poon. sometimes.
chastity bear is unnaffiliated with sexual orientation, but would like to expiriment. but can't. because its chastity bear. and that would defeat the purpose.

chastity bear ate its pet fish. it got hungry, and the fish was swimming.

chastity bear likes red lobster. a lot. a whole mother-fuckin-lot.
chastity bear likes biscuits.
chastity bear likes applebee's.
fuck, chastity bear likes food.

chastity bear does acid and trances about yoga and unicorns.
then it dreams about doing the unicorns.
but it can't.
cause...you know. chaste.

chastity bear has no reproductive organs.
which may be its number one problem.
but chastity bear does have a penis-pump and KY heated lotion, so go figure.
once, chastity bear ate the KY heated lotion. and got heart burn.

chastity bear is in a rock band. chastity bear's rock band has no name, but they are amazing none the less.
chastity bear has mad-groupies, but can't really please any of them. so they usually just leave with a friendly high-five.

chastity bear doesn't have a steady job, because he mooches off of other people. generally other people with food. bascially, chastity bear feeds its face with other people's dinners.

chastity bear is going to go watch scrambled porn now, so it must bid you adieu.
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