tonight chastiy bear has made a voyage. a voyage for truth. a voyage for justice. a voyage for hotdogs.
yes...tonight chastity bear had unpure thoughts about coney island hotdogs. for shame. chastity bear ALMOST (almost) had an orgasm. but not quite. if there had been ketchup...then wow.
chastity bear may have worn out his...her...its title. (chastity bear HAS no sex, because chastity bear will be having no sex. just a 411 for furture reference.)
chastity bear thought that the ladies working in coney island were hot bitches.
they were, by damn, they were.
chastity bear likes to talk about itself in third-person. so shut up.
chastity bear then felt itself up and picked lint off of katie, and then felt itself up some more. it liked it.
then chastity bear have itself a mamogram. it has no tumors. chastity bear is cancer-free.
cancer is not sexy.
chastity bear likes short shorts and metrosexuals. chastity bear likes short shorts on metrosexuals.
chastity bear got drunk on absolut vodka and wound up in an alley. chastity bear doesn't like hookers with short shorts and fake teeth.
chastity bear then ate some skittles and then ate katie's dinner, and then ate leah's dinner, and then ate amy.
but we fished her out.
chastity bear was sorry. but chastity bear was bitch-slaped anyway.
chastity bear realised that it has a heart on its ass. it's hard and made of plastic. chastity bear likes to feel it up, and then feel his pseudo-boobies.
chastity bear's pseudo-boobies have appeared in many home-made porns.
chastity bear like p33n. sometimes.
chastity bear like poon. sometimes.
chastity bear is unnaffiliated with sexual orientation, but would like to expiriment. but can't. because its chastity bear. and that would defeat the purpose.
chastity bear ate its pet fish. it got hungry, and the fish was swimming.
chastity bear likes red lobster. a lot. a whole mother-fuckin-lot.
chastity bear likes biscuits.
chastity bear likes applebee's.
fuck, chastity bear likes food.
chastity bear does acid and trances about yoga and unicorns.
then it dreams about doing the unicorns.
but it can't.
cause...you know. chaste.
chastity bear has no reproductive organs.
which may be its number one problem.
but chastity bear does have a penis-pump and KY heated lotion, so go figure.
once, chastity bear ate the KY heated lotion. and got heart burn.
chastity bear is in a rock band. chastity bear's rock band has no name, but they are amazing none the less.
chastity bear has mad-groupies, but can't really please any of them. so they usually just leave with a friendly high-five.
chastity bear doesn't have a steady job, because he mooches off of other people. generally other people with food. bascially, chastity bear feeds its face with other people's dinners.
chastity bear is going to go watch scrambled porn now, so it must bid you adieu.